The Mrs. is better looking pregnant than not. And each day of midsection enlargement brings new appreciation of her physical beauty. It's as if her stomach has become a whole new body part to (ahem) find attractive*.
Sounds reasonable, right? Well to formerly tiny and currently jumbo-sized women it doesn't sink in so quickly. During most pregnancies, a husband's pretensionless comment like, "That maternity shirt looks good on you, honey" mutates into, "Excuse me, nasty walrus woman, why don't you look petite and seductive anymore?" before it hits a wife's ears.
Unlike every message force-fed by our culture, I believe smaller is not always better. This is why Americanized beauty standards suck.
Point of truth: pregnant women turn their husbands on.
Point of instruction: husbands of the pregnant should never³* stop reminding their spouse of the unspeakable beauty surrounding an expectant woman.
Unfortunately, due to the interminable brainwashing by Hollywood culture, it takes some time to convince a woman big can equal hot. The repulsion of largeness can only be attributed to the gravitation towards self love. How depressing it must be to have married a, “I am happy because I’m beautiful because I’m smaller than the average woman because I eat apple peels twice a week before vomiting.”
This brings up another exquisite point: The Wife is not afraid to eat a hearty meal in public and is more attractive to me because of it.
To clarify (and so I don’t become a lonely man at night), I am NOT sticking up for big women because my spouse is that way in her un-pregnant state. She weighs just a hitch over a buck twenty five, looks great in a two piece on a beach and was voted “Sexiest Legs” in high school.*
*get turned on by
*never, never, never
*no way that graph gets me out of the woods
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