Dental Suicide

I just attended my six month tooth cleaning and examination at my local, family-friendly dentist's office. To clarify, Tango Uniform in a dentist's chair is the number one worst place on the planet. (Number two is wrapped tightly in a heavy blanket while nearly suffocating to death). All joking aside and in all seriousness, having my teeth scraped and drilled on while I was suffocating under a large blanket would be worse than suicide by hanging.

Speaking of suicide, my daily browse of the American Dental Association Journal churned up an interesting report by Roger E. Alexander, D.D.S. concerning stress-related suicide rates among denitsts. He says,

"Although some dentists leave the profession by way of suicide or career change at time when their careers should be the most rewarding, available data on stress and its impact on suicide incidence are inconclusive and flawed."

Now, take a moment to go back and let his first line sink in. 

Who 'leaves their profession' by way of suicide? Wouldn't that be better reffered to as 'leaving life'? And how about those two awesome options as a way out: suicide OR career change? Do conversations really go like that?

   Lindsay: I'm just really not happy with corporate right now. I'm ready to move on.
   Jill: Really? So, are you thinking job change or 16-guage through the temple?

     OR

   Mark: Did you hear about our old high school buddy, Fred?
   Larry: No, why?
   Mark: He cashed in his 401k early.
   Larry: Doesn't he know he'll be penalized?
   Mark: He probably doesn't care since he killed himself.

   Larry: He should; the IRS can dock you up to 40%!

It just seems the whole death part should outweigh the job change part.

My theory: Dentists are more prone to 'leave by way of suicide' because they're mentally tormented from torturing helpless people like me every six months.